1. All of your friends and their kids pull their pants up pass their belly button because they don't want to catch a cold.2. If you give your friend a gift wrapped present instead of tearing it open, they carefully take it apart and fold the paper into origami.
3. If you can't change any condiments on any order at any restaurant. "Can I have mustard instead of Big Mac sauce?" "No, I am sorry we cannot do that, it is a set."
4. If your dream home is the size of your college dorm.
5. If you are trying to choose something off of the shelf at a store and you realize the person behind you has been patiently waiting for you to move for like 5 minutes, but they never said excuse me.
6. If speeding on the expressway means that you were travelling in excess of 45mph...
7. Your soda machine has hot and cold drinks, and ice cream bars too.
8. Your cell phone from 10 years ago did everything and more that American phones are just now marketing as new services and features...
9. You now consider fermented beans to be delicious...
10. You just got served a slice of cold meat, and it has taken you five minutes to decide if it is safe enough to eat.
11. You try to explain something in Japanese with your translator or even a friend who speaks Japanese to help, only to find out months later when you run into them again, that the person spoke perfect English in the first place.
12. You have ever did a double take and thought about going to the FREE market! (In Japanese, the L and R sounds are the same).
13. The only time you stop trying to speak in Japanese is when you realize it is solicitor calling... "um, um... chotto wakarimasen... go... gomen... gomenesai."
14. You got mad because you were at a drive in restaurant and when you tried to order in Japanese, they started talking back to you in English...
15. Having a good customer service voice means trying to make your voice sound like a 10 year old, no matter what age you are.
16. Your friend gives all of his money to his wife and he only gets an allowance... "HUSBAND: So I need some money to go pay bills. WIFE: When do you need it? HUSBAND: Friday WIFE: Well, I will give it to you on Friday."
17. The large drink you just ordered is the size of a baby's sippy cup.
18. You asked for no ice with your drink, thinking you would get more to drink, but instead your cup was only filled up half way.
19. It takes you 20 minutes to walk to your destination, 10 minutes to jog or 2 HOURS by car.
20. All the ladies are enjoying the beach in high heel or platform shoes.
21. Your toilet has as much computing power as your smart phone...
22. Guys are pretending to be Jamaican by buying music, flags, car stickers, etc. just to pick up girls.
23. The most popular singing groups are still color coded, 80's boy bands.
24. The ladies are wearing designer tank tops, daisy dukes and high heels when there is snow on the ground.
25. People are trying to find a good angle to sneak you into the background of their photo without you knowing. (They like to take pictures of foreigners).
26. Random adults and kids are touching your kid's hair.
27. Your first grader is wearing a $400 bookbag.
28. Bills don't come at the first of every month, they break the monthly bill up into like 10 seperate bills and send them to you every three days!
29. If your drive to work includes avoiding multiple, insane, hell's angels sized moped groups...you just might live in Japan! - Joshua Aldrige
30. If the online company you are ordering from actually takes Cash on Delivery (COD)...
31. If you are completey mesmerized by watching 600 pound guys wrestle in Conan the Barbarian loin cloth.
32. If a melon the size of a soft ball costs you $8.00. - Tremain Bowman
33. If no one ever takes the last piece of candy or food, because it is the "lucky" one.
34. If mini-skirts are popular with two age groups... under 20 and over 50.
35. If you drive a 10 passenger family van with a 3-cylinder motor cycle engine.
36. If your pain prescription is Motrin or really hot and spicy ramen...
37. If you can buy the biggest Hollywood Box Office movie in a little DVD box by the time it hits your local Japanese theater... .
38. If the way to the prettiest girl's heart is gaining as much weight as possible and wrestling with another guy while wearing loin cloth.
39. If the TV you got for free costs $70 dollars to throw away. ~ Roxanne Modeferi
40. If you see your dream car at a sales lot for more than $6,000 and you are like "Whoa that is way too much."
41. When the maintenance man is sleeping on the ground in your driveway during his lunch break - Christina Brown
42. If stores put up their Christmas decorations and start playing "Here comes Santa Clause" the day after Halloween.
43. You are so lucky that you always get an entire row to yourself on the airplane.
44. You have been waiting to get a parking spot at the local mall, but all the spots have been taken by people who have been just sitting in the parking lot for hours.
Thank you for coming by, leave your "You might be living in Japan comment and I will add it to this growing list."
Benjamin "Sensei" Moriniere
Okinawa, Japan
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wow
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