3 Big DON'Ts You Can Learn from Maya Angelou

This week we celebrate the extraordinary life of  Maya Angelou.  She was one of the most expressive and courageous people of our generation, and in fact, of many generations.  Her strong words and presence will continue to echo for years to come, and as a martial artist, here are 3 big lessons we can learn from her extraordinary life.

Don't Live a Fearful Life

"Courage is the most important of all virtues, because, without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage." As a professional martial artist and instructor I have had to be courageous in the face of opponents, and sometimes, in the face of  real world danger. I have had to be courageous trying to establish my own businesses, seeking new students, and even convincing my wonderful wife that I was not crazy for trying to follow a dream.  I am sure everyone had had a large number of situations in life where we had to be courageous.  Howbeit, in hindsight I have come to realize more and more that we waste a lot of our life living in fear. Sure we eventually deal with risk and pushing ourselves forward, but generally at a last resort. Most of us can be very courageous when backed into a corner.

However, if we are afraid to stand out from the crowd, or take some big risks, then we will live a very normal life. Life is hard for everyone, and if life will be hard for all of us, then let's choose to live life extraordinarily. There are many virtues that we learn throughout life, but what are they without the courage to walk out those virtues with a high level of compassion?  You can't live a compassionate life if fear grips your every decision.  Choose rather to be courageous, which is not the absence of fear at all, but the state of mind that says, I am moving forward anyway.

Don't Live a Defeated Life

"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it."   Win or lose, up or down, in or out, we are learning! It feels great to be on top, to be the best, to be the tournament champ, but I, and we learn far more from our defeats. We all love mountain tops, but for every mountain top you climb there will be decent into a valley of some sort.  Valleys teach us two things; how to live defeated, or how to pull greatness out of ourselves.  The rougher the valley, the easier it is to climb a tougher mountain! Everything we need to be successful is already in us, and when we realize life is chiseling away at us, we have to take a step back and see the beautiful work of art that is forming. 

Therefore, we should not live as if we have been defeated, nor if someone owes us something for feeling down and defeated. Take your future in your hands, whatever it may be. Stand up straight and meet those challenges ahead with a firm handshake. We are never truly defeated, until we give up. Besides, confidence in yourself, your abilities and the common sense to improve where needed, speaks volumes.

Don't Ruin Your Good Reputation

"I 've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." There are so many wise sayings covering a good reputation, but it really comes down our level of integrity and character. One day when life is over, we will all leave behind something, so just make sure one of things you leave behind is a good name i.e. reputation.  A good reputation is all you have sometimes, and it will speak on your behalf. That is why bankrupt CEOs can ask any bank for money and they will still give it to them. That is why we take advice from some friends, and do the very opposite of what other friend say. Think about it. 

The bottom line is that we build trust over time through our words and our deeds. As a martial artist and business owner I have to realize that my actions will increase or decrease my reputation, my trust factor, my influence factor. We all have to realize that our reputation extends to all aspects of our lives, relationships, work and family life. So, let every time someone mentions our name, no matter if they smile or frown, whether they like us or not, let it be with an understanding that we are striving to be people with a good reputation.


Benjamin Moriniere "Sensei"
Okinawa, Japan